Today is the last day of November - 30th November 2008 . The moment of our fifth month awaits us . I am surprised indeed, that i could be tamed down after what happened to my life . I never expect that i could enter any relationships to last for more than a month in sincerity . You proved me wrong, showed me care, i never could felt happier so far in life . I don't ask to be rich, i only ask for what is enough . I don't ask for perfect, i only ask for a little higher than average . I don't ask for your every freedom to be with me, i only ask for your trust enough to tie us together . Merely five months, i felt as if we've been together for five years . Have we met before ? Do we once knew each other ? You felt so different versus other males . I'm glad i knew you . =)

It's gonna be MST tomorrow, this entire week . Have you studied, my friends ? To be frank, i have not . And the time already tells 9.08pm . 有心无力 . Clubbing serves as my motivation no more, nothing is . Sometimes it keeps me wondering, why not everyone slow down their pace and we as a whole could be a little less stressful . Is it because of the career minded workers that sets the economic level high for us to be stressed up ? Or is it because of the greed of money that keeps the workers working more ? The sayings taught me happy times wouldn't last, i knew it, but only find myself to taste it at this age . Have you ever felt care free ? Real care free till what's troubling you is only minor issues to solve in less than a minute . I have . It keeps me wanting, but i find it hard to come across such times, honestly saying, i have no idea i'm care free until it's over for me to think back and realized . 

Shirley girlfriend seems to be in a similar situation, motivation-less . I've already have to repeat three modules, i'll just have to pull my socks higher or be a ship that sunks . May we all pass our tests, though with no flying colours, to the least, enough to get the diploma certificate . I know how she feels somehow, i was similar six months ago, only worse that resulted me to fail my studies . 

Be the one that says the glass is half full, not half empty . 

Today is the 24th November 2008 . Monday blues ... bla bla bla . I must say this week is a pretty busy week . Ducktours assessment falls on this weekend and so does dear dear's cousin's wedding . So dear dear's making a trip down to JB for car polishing, and i'm following along . =) . 

Speaking of the wedding, i'm still thinking of how to dress up for the day . It just so happens that the ducktours assessment falls on the same day as the wedding . So whatever i'm wearing to the wedding i'm wearing it to my second interview . Dress ? Office formal ? I have a white tie to go with most of the color shirts . Dear dear wants me to wear a dress ... hmm . 

Dear dear took leave for this Wednesday to Friday, we didn't went clubbing last Saturday because i don't feel like . Should i go this Wednesday ? Because dear dear said we could go this Wednesday because he's off work the next day . Haiz, maybe i shouldn't go . 

Next week's MST week already ... i really hope i could cope with every module this semester . 可是我有心无力。=/

Er jie seems to be in a fight with Wei Hao . Got her things back from his house i heard, and went out till late with another guy on last Friday night . Whatever the case is, if you need a listening ear, or a crying shoulder, someone to walk with you in the night, even if i could be of no help at all . I would be there if you need, okay ? All the best in your love life, no matter if it's a 25years old or a 40years old boyfriend, your decision, i respect whoever you choose . 

Wentta Full Throttle yesterday . . . nothing much, only some car accessories stalls . . decal stalls . . a few mod up drives and new cars for sale . COE is still stuck at $2 for category A . Haha . Then we went to watch some drifting and it started drizzling so we went off . I could see more better drifting some where else . 

Hmm . . . blog again soon . Au voir . 

Today is the 21st November . I'm home early on a Friday night . Bla . 

Was surfing the net and browsing some used car on sale and i saw a car i like . In fact, it's the car i'm always looking at, just a little different . If i have the money, i'll sure buy it with careful checks . 

Check this out . Nissan Fairlady 350Z 3.5L V6 engine . 

Features :

> Mipa matt black paint

> Ings carbon bonnet and bodykits

> Veilside spoiler

> HKS cat back exhaust ( titanium tips )

> Brembo 6/4 pot brakes ( 380 rotors )

Accessories :

> 19" Volks racing GTV rims

> Bride seats

> Fujitsubo Exhaust Extractor/Cat Pipe/Y Pipe

> Plasma injection

> Trust oil cooler

Road tax : $3,164 per year

COE : $9,801

Depreciation : $10,666

Bride seats . . . brembo brakes and matt paints . That's more of what i wanted if i have my own 350Z . Except i'll change the tyres to Bridgestone's and Nismo light weigh rims . More things then . Hmm . Just a beauty . vroom VROOM . =)

Bored bored, i'm very very bored at home . Especially when i come to think that it's Friday today . 

Hmm . New record came in today, i got a friend that got his license in 1.5 months . Genius and a very good driver i heard . Anyone wanna break that record ? Haha . I want my license ! And cho dear dear is already talking about our next holiday already . Argh . =(

Hmm . Think i'll go finish up tutorials so that i've more time for MST revisions . No choice, i've to use force to make myself study . T_T . 

Clubbing tomorrow ? 60% yes . =)

Bonjour . Today is the 20th November 2008 . FACC test today and yeah, i did studied, and i did practise . But somehow, luck just won't side you sometimes . Well well, all i can ever say again is, i did what i'm supposed to do . When one's up, the other is down, but i did well for audit . Scored 84% . Didn't manage to pull my mood up thinking about that either . Whatever . 

Dear dear went for Class 4 driving test yesterday and he passed . Yeah, does that mean next time when we date i could be in a lorry ? Haha . Good luck for your Class 5 again dear dear . *Kiss kiss* 

Saved up $20 but i spent more than half of all today . Gave my money to Microsoft Office 07 . Bought it at student price, so whatever i saved is spent . Well well, when you're not working, one cents count . I'm so broke and i wonder when can i ever get my license . Thinking about it, there's a new fairlady in my school that makes me wanna get my license even more . 

So many things going on, i feel like giving up everything, only be by your side . Sitting on a sofa, i lay in your arms, think about nothing, together we enjoy the comfort of our very own home . How good could that be ? 

 - 

Stop dreaming . Haha . Staying over at dear dear's place tonight, gonna meet him now . Blog again soon . Au voir . 

Today is the 18th November 2008 . Went to school today, wasn't supposed to take cough syrup because it causes drowsiness but i still took it . Don't wanna cough my lungs away at any time . Yeah, i didn't, but i was half aslept away through cost lecture . Bad . Anyway, didn't finished tax tutorial today because i was sick for too many days, i went to look for the tutor and told him what happened . He said to focus on the thursday test before anything else . Well, not as bad as i expected . 

Okay, what happened to me actually . Last Sunday i had a minor sore throat, so i thought nothing's gonna happened and took two lozenges before i went to bed . Woke up in the middle of the night i felt so cold i used up two blankets . Next morning i knew, i had fever . Took my temperature and it measured 38.8 degrees . Rest, slept, and ate nothing till 7pm at night, i had my first meal of the day - fish porridge . Had half of it, went to rest then dear dear wanna bring me to doctor . Almost fainted at my door, vision's black . I knew what happened - i don't have as much blood . Anyway, went to doctor, bla bla bla, MC till Wednesday but i went to school on Wednesday because i've got GEMS CA . Everything went fine until Friday . I've finished my course of medication and fever came back . So went to doctor again on Sunday . Low blood pressure and something else . Suspect i've got dengue fever . MC on Monday again because of drowsy drugs . I missed so many lessons, i can barely catch up . I don't understand lectures anymore . 

MST is coming up . . . i hope i can keep it on . Wish me luck . 

10th December 2008 . . . =D

Now i can finally say . . . 我喜欢你 . . . 好喜欢好喜欢 . . . Dear dear ♥ . 

Today is the 15th November 2008 . Well, TGIF ? Okay, not exactly though, if weekends are too boring with nothing to do then i suppose i'd prefer weekdays . Those days, even when you've got tonnes of work to do and hell lots of revisions to go through, friends are always there to be with you, sharing the heavy load together . I miss those days when i was still in year 1, when Cheryl was still around . We study together, we eat together, we walk together, even if we have to stay back to late 8pm or so to finish up projects, we're willing to . We don't force ourselves to stay, neither do we wish to go back home early, because group unity is what we have ? The strong bond is now gone . At least to me, i found it so .  

Anyway, happy times are not meant to last . 

I find it strange . I've finished the whole course of medication already and the sore throat came back . Together with a little bit of fever . Darn it . What did i do ? I thought all germs are killed already . But thank god Mom and Dad came back, else i'll have to consult a doctor again i guess . Mom's already half a doctor working at a clinic for more than 10 years . Right now, i've to take Anti-Biotics for another 5 days . Guess i'll just have to comply to make myself feel better . 

And i found a good news, or rather two good news . I went to Ducktours interview last Wednesday and i got chosen outta the many . =) . I guess only 3 were chosen outta 8 or 9 . And we've got a second interview coming up . It's a rather good job i guess, weekdays $8/hour and weekends $10/hours EXCLUSIVE of tips . Just imagine . I'll work hard for the second interview and i shall be able to buy the things i need . To my surprise, i'm in need of certain things : - 

> BBDC - My Class 3 license

> The Make Up Store - Sport Foundation Latte Color

> Sony Ericcson C905

> Wax my back @ Ministry of Wax 

> Change my hairstyle 

> 350Z 1:10 detailed car model @ Millenia Walk

> DECADE stationeries from POPULAR BOOKSTORE

Talking about changing my hairstyle, i thought i just wanna try something exotic but Mom's totally disagree . For those who've seen me lately, you'd have known how my hair looks like . I just wanna dye my fringe white or cut off my long hair, leaving behind a long long tail . How does that sounds ? Fun eh . =))) . Give me comments . 

Dear dear finally graduated from 3 weeks 160th Platoon Sergeant Course yesterday . I'm glad to hear that . =) . Went to Class 4 theory lesson after his graduation and it ended early . So he came over to my place for dinner and stayed for the night because he has to return to his own camp this morning . . . and RT tomorrow morning . =/ . Going to work 7 days a week, i feel unfair for you too, my dear . But for the bowl of rice, we shall not complain too much . 

Sigh . I know i shouldn't be complaining, but why is life so complicated ? When will my life of a bed of roses come true . Guess it will never . 

Today is the 6th November 2008 . Received an sms from Doris this morning saying that Ah Goh's grandma just passed away . I'm so sorry to hear that . 

Audit test today, i'm glad i did study a bit, at least, got some definitions inside my head . But seems like my costing is damn bad . One simple question took me an hour plus to understand, and tutor needs to use my pens to demostrate to me . I feel like a 5 year old child learning math, when the teacher uses apples to teach, you know what i mean ? Anyway, better than not knowing i guess . 

Pay's out,  i think it's the tips from last month, totalled up to $245 . Think i'll deposit a hundred bucks into our account this month . =) . 

Finally, i've made up my mind to quit CYA . Although i've to pay $250 for breach of contract, i'm more than willing to, than to stay and suffer from last minute cancellation of my programmes to attend something i'm not at the least bit interested in . Imagine if you were me, new roster commence on 1st Nov 2008 - Saturday, duty day changes from Sunday to Wednesday, which means new roster skips one duty for me, and have plans already made for Sunday since there's no duty . Only on Saturday morning, 1st Nov 2008 itself then you received a sms saying that new roster commence on 3rd Nov 2008 - Wednesday, tell you to go for duty, if not replacement done . Find replacement within one day ? Hello ~ it's weekend, not everyone is contactable . What i'm furious about ain't that, but the way you gave down orders . One word, without consideration for others at ALL . Tried telling you this news is last minute, you replied ? Never mind . I'LL SQUASH YOUR FREAKING MIND ! 

Have heard from not one, not two, but quite a few that you're hard to work with . Lucky that i've decided to withdraw, if not i'm not sure what i'll do to you when new roster starts with YOU in the same day . 

I needa release, i need my own time . I wanna club till i drop, i wanna drink till i puke, i wanna think of nothing . I need my vitamins, badly . 

There's no goal in my life . I study for the sake of my parents, i eat for the sake of living and i live for the sake of my family . This . . . is . . . my . . . life . 

Today is the 4th November 2008 . Phew . . . a sleepy day indeed . Well, after BTT last evening, i came home and went online for a while . Then had my FF tutorials finished up and did part of Tax tutorial . Went to bed with my alarm set at 3am and 4am but i woke up at 6am plus 7am . Ate a little and went back to sleep . Next thing i know, i was awaken by my phone . Cindy's sms . Over slept ! Lol . Then i thought, if i rush to school now, i'm still gonna be late for the 2 continuous lecture . Might as well skip it, try to finish up my tax tutorials and make my way to school for tutorial . So i did . Well, having slept so much, i was still sleepy during afternoon tutorials . I felt so much like a pig . Haha . 

Lesson ends, and i got a missed call from Ah Kit . Been a long time since i talked to SABA people . Heard that the new shop is opening soon and he'll be over there working split shifts . So was online looking around and reading my mails when i come across this video at PolyTalks forum . Haha . 

Funny ah . Haha . Jia lat ar the lady . Haha . Was playing HOTEL626 these few days repeatedly because i think the more i play, the funnier it is . Was scary at first play, because the graphics are real good i must admit . Real good as in this :- 

Finished the entire play anyway . Haha, and i was practising my BTT in school online when i came across this question . Would they really ask this kinda question ? I wonder . Haha . 

Dear dear just sms me, said his cousin is asking me to join their wedding dinner . Should i go ? If i go, i'll be alone during the dinner with his family i guess because he's one of the brothers and gotta be with the groom . Result = lonely and quiet, dare not go anywhere nor talk much . But i would be rude to reject their wedding when i've been asked to go . Seems like i've to drag my heavy feet over . =/ 

P.S. Added two new songs to my playlist . I simply love it . =)

Today is the 3rd November 2008 . No doubt i've written the previous post in fright of how dear dear will react when he reads it, but i've told myself to be firm about saying how i felt . All i ask for ... is your trust . So that you need not worry when i go out with whoever friends . 

Anyway, Saturday came and dear dear came over to my place after he got dismissed from camp . Although he was a little late, but i get to see him again . Met up with Shirley girlfriend at CityHall, planning to get our tutorials done at the Esplanade Library but it was full, so we went over to Suntec Gloria Jeans instead . Ordered French Vanilla if i remembered it correctly and it smells nice . Reminds me of the Vanilla Ice Cream at Ritz Carlton . Finished audit tutorial and went to have dinner . A little shopping after that and took train to VivoCity to meet dear dear because he was having his friend's wedding dinner there . Caught Tropic Thunder midnight show at Cathay and over at his place for the night . Thought it was a funny show . 

Sunday came and dear dear gotta go to Jurong for his Class 4 license because the army is paying him to get it, so he sent me home in the afternoon, went for lessons and came over to my place to fetch me over to the airport . Airport duty ends and he fetched me home and went back to camp . 

First lesson of the week didn't seem to grab my attention, but i managed to force my eyes open and wrote some notes . 4 hours of break after first lecture of the week and i revised on my BTT . The trial test did helped a bit, but i was pissed off at not getting them all correct, can't be bothered too much too . IS lesson came and theory was same old boring facts, only did some follow up during ''practical'' . Class ended 4.30pm but my BTT was 5.40pm at BBDC, and Martin was having his practical lessons at 6.15pm too . So we strollled over and i had my test after my phone with dear dear . I must say i did it real carefully and i actually re-checked once . Results = PASSED . 

Called dear dear to tell him about the good news, but he wasn't feeling well . So coming over to my place tonight was cancelled . I told him to rest . He sounded weak . Did drills the entire day and running . I can't go in the camp to visit him either . And he said he didn't smoke much too, could even gather his energy to walk to his car and get some strepsils . It's like, i'm not happy about passing my BTT anymore . . . Dear dear, hang on . =/ . 

I felt useless . Tell me, what exactly should i do ? 

We can't make it on 090909, but we could make it on 20102010 .